According to U. Census data, men are, on average, 1. Men who remarry are especially likely to seek out younger partners. In a major study of human mating done in , evolutionary psychologist David Buss found that in each of the 37 cultures he surveyed, men preferred to marry younger women, by an average of 2.
This data, he argues, shows that age preferences for a partner are most likely the product of evolutionary pressures. Scientists at least acknowledge the fact of female choice. And researchers suggest that the drive to seek younger, peak-fertility women is balanced by an evolutionary drive toward seeking a partner similar in age, which makes co-parenting easier.
Glass found, in her years of experience, that older men who date younger women are often coming out of a rough divorce. This dichotomy, of course, leads to different problems down the road. Check out PsychCentral for the full story on how this couples dynamic can be tratcherous. The first rule of not being the worst is to stop assuming that literally anything is ever true of all women or, for that matter, all people of any gender, race, age, sexuality, etc. It is to say, however, as Volz expressed in her thread, that while these conversations ostensibly intend to protect young women, they have a tendency to instead strip such women of their autonomy, relegating all women in relationships with older men to a state of presumed vulnerability.
Also complicating this already nuanced matter? The fact that while the internet loves to shade older men for dating younger women, it also enjoys mocking young men for … being young men. Meanwhile, both of these seemingly contradictory views appear to be thriving in overlapping circles of the internet. This idea that women are obviously drawn to older men over their useless something counterparts while the older men who date these women are creepy quasi-pedophiles preying upon a vulnerable population is what we might call a double standard.
To be quite clear, I am not here to rail on behalf of aspiring Leo Dicaprios against the great injustice that is men having to face a tiny bit of criticism for reaping the rewards of a societal dynamic that routinely puts them in bed with young, beautiful women. I am here, however, to suggest that liking and pursuing younger women as an older man is not inherently predatory or exploitative.
There is a certain power dynamic involved, to be sure, but it is one that consenting young women are equally capable of leveraging to our own advantage. In an ideal world, would we all select our lifelong mates based on some kind of ethereal attraction between core selfhood entirely divorced from any physical qualities or other earthly trappings? Sure, maybe. For many of us, that somewhere is age.
Age tends to factor heavily into our romantic decisions because it is often a useful indicator of where a person may be in their career, how they might feel about future family planning, their taste in music, etc. Many people choose to date people close in age because they assume that means they will have more in common. Other people may prefer to seek partners in other age ranges for various other reasons, or perhaps even for no real reason beyond the often uncontrollable forces of personal preference.
That, as they say, is why they make chocolate and vanilla. That said, there are currently many valid, important conversations taking place about when a harmless matter of sexual preference becomes a more problematic one of fetishization.
Then they were asked about their actual partners in the past five years. Overall, Antfolk found, young men preferred women their own age. And compared with women, men were generally more willing to consider a partner substantially younger than they were. For example, the average age of heterosexual men in the study was And on average, they would consider having sex with a woman as young as By comparison, heterosexual women were 35 years old, on average, and the youngest partner they would consider was around 27 again, on average , the findings showed.
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